November!

On self doubt, imperfection and a guest appearance by Doris, Margot and Norman

Well that happened quickly. I had an interesting October: things didn’t go quite right (when do they ever), there’s been enormous work pressure as people leave and we’re unable to recruit to fill the gaps (#thankyouNHS) and I’ve had a good few wobbles and a lot of self doubt. Imposter syndrome is a killer. At a recent training session when asked how we cope with work stress, the consensus was ‘go home, have a cry and a glass of wine, dust yourself off, tomorrow is another day’. My wonderful best friends have stepped in with words of support when I said I’d been waking up at five worrying if they secretly think I’m a dick/I can’t do my job/Jamie doesn’t love me, etc: ‘you are a dick (but we still love you) and we are all equally shit and epic on which day you catch us on’, which is all you need to hear basically, and also this, which is so true for all of us:

I’ve also been retreating into things that soothe and uplift me: I forced myself to go out for a run (highly recommend, even if you run/walk), we took some time off and had a night away in the Cotswolds (lovely) and we’ve spent time cooking, pottering in the garden and doing a few bits in the cottage.

The Wheatsheaf Inn in the Cotswolds - hard recommend

We also met the excellent Doris, Margot and Norman

On imperfection

So you refurbish a semi-derelict cottage. You lift the roof, give life and love to these old beams, put in a kitchen and bathroom, keep everything that you possibly can and replace sympathetically where you can’t, then just when you think you’ve finished, you walk upstairs to your office and find several holes where the plasterboard fixings have popped because it was windy. Then the shower leaks through into the hall ceiling, then the floor in front of the hearth starts squeaking, and then something falls off a windowsill and makes a massive chip in the beautiful old cream radiator. I think we’ve got rats in the garden and something has dug up our lovingly planted potatoes.

And yes, I’m feeling a bit philosophical at the moment, but it’s just like life really. I fix one problem at work, but then the next day four more pop up. One family member seems happier, but then another one needs you all to rally round a bit… and so it goes on. And so I’m embracing the imperfection. I’m going to leave the chip in the radiator, and every time I look at it I’m going to think hey, it’s not perfect, but it’s still a beautiful little cottage where we live very happily and that this, surely is a metaphor for something bigger, isn’t it? We can spend our lives chasing perfection and trying to do it all, or we can sit with our slightly wonky, but beautiful lives, that have a few cracks, have a cry and a glass of wine or too, dust ourselves off and carry on.

This week’s things…

Home things

We painted the beams and WOW it worked really well. So basically you just paint on a layer of cream chalk paint (we used Frenchic The Lazy Range in Creme de la Creme), then once dried you go over it with brown wax (Frenchic Browning Wax) and honestly the results were amazing. Our lounge is pretty dark, and the very dark beams added a slightly oppressive touch. The lightness is subtle, but has definitely done the trick.

Before: dark beamage

After: lighter and much more even

Garden things

So yeah, something has been digging in our potatoes (squirrels? Maybe even rats), but weirdly not eating them, just chucking them about. I have my heart set on digging up my own potatoes for Christmas dinner, so I need to work out how to protect them. Otherwise, the garden is looking pretty cute right now. I’ve also bought about a million bulbs (mostly thanks to the devilish Horticulturalish who is a really bad influence) and need to put them in - but will they survive our furry invaders?

The garden, looking super cute.

Why though?

Food things

I highly recommend following Jess Rose Parr on Instagram for home inspo and also for great food ideas. These quick creamy lemon chilli butterbeans were delicious (even if my frozen stock did turn out to be lamb and not chicken):

Creamy lemon chilli butter beans (made slightly weird with lamb stock)

Other lovely things

We went to see a band. In London! I hate this sort of thing usually - way too peopley - but Larkin Poe were incredibly good.

Larkin Poe - play ‘Little Bit’ on Spotify and thank me later

Skye McAlpine’s beautiful new Christmas book. I’m going to buy it for everyone - so gorgeous and it’s making me so excited for Christmas!

And lastly - Burford Garden Centre, specifically their Christmas displays. Just amazing.

I think that’s it. Have a lovely rest of the weekend xx